LeCrush 076: Mr Brice Reignier

aka. a fine and talented artist

I dont know why its taken me so long to get to you. I met you at Night of 1000 Drawings in 2009, drawing alongside the likes of that other guy (i thought your drawings were WAY cooler, just by the way) and then proceeded to dig a little, find out where you live, what dogs you walk in the dog park, how awesome your lego collection is, and and how even more awesome your comic collection is. Unfortunately, your liking of the greener herbal parks keeps you locked up at home, and I don’t get to accidentally bump into you in our little coffee shop in Harfield Village any more. Come and play with me in a field…I’ll bring some greener grassier parks.

Just incase you people thought I wasn’t giving attention to one of the lesser known talents out there, here is proof:

Le Crush #75: Mr Justin Davenport

aka the youngen Holiday Murray boy

Making this decision was as hard as D.Mule vs D.Cooltrain … Ellis or Justin? Ellis or Justin? ELLIS OR JUSTIN?????? FUCK!. fuck. Together you’re too pretty. That hard choice between the take-me-to-bed-eyes-beardy-manly-look or the thank-god-you’re-not-my-younger-brother-chiseled-cheekbone-look. Double-post reserved for The Apter Brothers. Gotta choose one. Fuck. Justin baby … you’re it. Ellis baby, maybe one time sometime. We’ll see.

Now, Justin … it’s easy enough to accidentally bump into you at/on bicycles gigs markets fields launches streets blah blah so I’ll refrain from mentioning all the detailed places we’ll inevitably share an eyecandy stare. Instead, through this post (whose aim is, undoubtedly, to worship the sweet air your delightful nostrils breathe out) I declare a challenge to Mr Luca Vincenzo. Luca baby, you know this Justin boy a little better than I (in fact it was you, dear child, who made the introduction, to which I am eternally grateful). In appreciation and as per your request, I will reveal myself to you at some point with a “who’s yo momma” in passing in return for:

- a romantic weekend away for myself and your dear friend Justin

- cederberg, west coast, east coast or extended winelands will do

- the Maldives is a close second

- fine champagne, twice a day (balls to sparkling wine)

- dinners must at some point include caviar / oysters / lobster / pesto and tapenade on bruschetta, at least one fat steak, and at least one spaghetti meatballs (for desired Lady & the Tramp effect)

- private Burt Bacharach performance

- transportation by hot air balloon

- an encounter with a whale shark

- absolute secrecy and privacy – paparazzi will be shot

- you organise and pay for everything

Everyone wins.

(Thanks Adriaan again for some of the pretty piekchures to play with)

LeCrush #74 : Mr. Andrew Kai

All the pretty girls in Cape Town, all the pretty girls in Portobello Road, all the pretty girlsin Sri Lanka, and all the pretty girls in the whole Southeast Asia wait with baited breath for Andrew Kai to smile at them. The extent of your free love-sharing switches my jealous button to fullspeed…why can the world have you and not I (we/they/him/she)?  Seriously Andrew…what’s a Cold Turkey Sunday without accidentally bumping asscheeks on the pebbles? What’s an exhibition opening in corners of biscuit mills without faking conversation as a guise to straying eyes as they decipher faraway Test Kitchen chef faces? What’s a Museum Gallery opening without ascending that staircase hoping it’s your eyes straying up my skirt?  With both you and DC away….ag DC Schmeecee. You, Mr Kai, will produce prettier babes with me than he. That lil smile o yours does terrible things to my insides *shudders. COME FRIGGIN HOME

LeCrush 073: Mr. Daniel Holland

The pure epitome of what it means to live The Lifestyle in Cape Town, you Sir…are a friggin legend. I see you EVERYwhere, as I’m sure everyone else does…skating around, looking a soup of freely suave happiness. You must be the only guy who can make skating look so damn elegant, and that board’s nothing on your new couch-ride. From nightmarkets to regular nightspots, the cream on my pie is I can now mosey on down to Yourstruly Deli and pretend to be a loyal regular at any time of the day. Holding exhibitions there is a goodie – I get to perve on your tall manliness over a free glassie – bonus. Thanks for moving away from what everyone else in CT does and doing your own thang – it’s a sure sign of someone who’d make a great husband. I might have played this video about 40 times since last week. Ladies, nom nom nom.

Thank you I Love Coffee and BAD Pictures for the beautiful pics of Daniel.

Le Crush 072 : Mr. Keane Balt

Aka. Nicci Bruce’s boyfriend

I read your girlfriend’s blog, knowing most posts to contain traces of you. Who knows, I might even get the info I need to find you that day. I recently found you on twitter…you’re a quiet one though – i like that your head inside is all about interesting things and travel and berries that only reveal themselves to those who really deserve to hear them nuggets. You are beautiful Mr Balt, and Ms Bruce is one lucky gal. Nice one on the Valentine’s cuteness,. and please be careful in S.E.Asia – rabid dogs are abound.

Le Crush 071: Mr. Lee Thomson

Aka. Lee Lips

Aka. Band whore trumpeter for Closet Snare, Hog Hoggidy Hog, Dave Ledbetter, ex-Springbok Nude Girls and so many more.

Dearest Lee Lips.

I’m sorry to hear of your recent departure from romancehood with (ex)girlfriend. This news reaches me late it seems (need to get out more), and apart from a small tiny amount of empathy for you, I’m more than happy to now resume tailing your trumpet-blowing lips around South African venues as your tongue does That Thang to that piece of metal that every girl wishes her man could achieve under down duvets. Brrrrrrrrrrrrp (is it true you can do that to ssssslippery places?) yesssssss

Thank you Sportscene for this last pretty piekchure of LeeLips.

but those eyes….need to be alookin in my direction.

LeCrush #70: Gareth O’Callaghan

Aka. a talented art director

Oh, God, you’re beautiful, Crackers Gareth. lt’s not just Babs those other 69 l love anymore. lt used to be, but now it’s you, too. Both All of you l love so much. lt’s your mind, your imagination… that filthy mind with rotten ideas. And your face! That beautiful, beautiful face…. he he. Your sense of humour astounds me. There’s something so attractive about a boy man who can comfortably set aside ego for fun, and to you Sir, I salute and urge to keep dressing up. The Hello World launch seems like a million years ago, so I frequent usual hipster hangouts if I want to accidentally bump into you. And G, um… I know you’re good mates and all, but I really feel uncomfortable when you’re close to Koos in this way: